4080 days...Gosh mom!! It was too early for you to go. I know it is my fourth year to commemorate you here at my blog. And no matter how silly and redundant I might sound, but I will always remember you, you have a special place in my heart and my blog.
Mom, once I got an email regarding my flight to the States I can't tell you how confused and sad I was! I should have been happy instead knowing that I will reunite with my husband after all but believe me it was like some one was stabbing my heart with a dagger. I realized that I would not be able to visit your grave whenever I want to! At that day to be exact I decided to go and visit the grave for the last time :(
I cried like a baby, I cried and missed you so bad! I felt ashamed because I was going to leave you behind. Mom, these feelings are keep killing me. I didn't stay there by my dad's side. Two years ago I wrote you a letter complaining about my dad's refusal to my marriage and now I blame no one but my self. I left you and left him I left you both! Would any one of you forgive me for what I have done? Even if you don't I still understand.
Mom I took a picture of your grave and I want to post it right here at my blog.
I know that my step mom is with dad and she is supporting him but still, neither me nor my sister are there to mitigate his pains.
I immigrated to the States joining my husband. I came here with all the memories. Mom did you know that your brother passed away last month? Of course you know, he is with you now!
I am controlling my tears now and it is very hard to do so. I can't stop thinking of you and I will never want to.
Mother day comes and ends, but I have no concern about it. I want to isolate my self when that day arrives, don't wanna read or hear about this event.
Mom, here in America I have seen a lot of sons and daughters whom have dumped their parents. Two of my neighbors are old moms living by themselves. No one visits them. My heart aches for them. Their children don't appreciate them, what a waste!
Mom I wonder what would have been like if you were alive and witnessing my departure to another country? I am sure you would have wanted to come over...You were brave enough to endure the pain and the tumor for three years. You never gave up you wanted to live as much as you breath just for us( dad, me and my sister). If the cancer was a man I would have killed him cuz he stole my mom from me.
Rest in peace my angel, we will meet one day.
Love you always and forever.
Your daughter
