Frustration leads to rebellion and trust generates freedom! Is this reality? Is it true that men live their lives full-length, breadthwise.. while women's rights shrink under the rule of custom and traditions? Why is everything right for man, but not right for woman? and how different is his freedom from hers?
Unfortunately, the meaning of freedom, which we" girls" mean is :why is OK for him to spend the night out until the dawn carousing with his friends while it is forbidden for a female? It has been known that she might get kidnapped. Well, man may also get kidnapped by the thieves or gays, why do not parents stop him?
Why is it right to a man to travel alone, and not right for a female? why? Is it because her principles and morality will change or get affected, or subjected to harassment?? Well, that may change the principles of a man and also subject him to theft and kidnapping!
Why is it right to a man to get involved with sexual relationships and have fun with different women before marriage, but when it comes to have a future family he chooses the right girl which descents from a well-known family to marry her, but it is forbidden to a woman to have sex before marriage. I am not encouraging pre-marriage sex and I know according to the Bible it is banned for both to have that type of relationships before marriage. but according to the society it is normal and obvious for man to do this but not for a woman because she would lose her virginity, chastity and dignity. Do you think that man won't lose his dignity as well when he gets involved with prostitutes or even with girls that have been weak in front of sex?
If the man confessed to the woman that he had affairs and lots of women in his past but not anymore, I believe that the woman would say: well you were honest with me and I forgive you ..
I wonder if the girl confessed to a man that she used to know some men, what would his reaction be? Will he leave her? Will he forgive her and forget her past? mmm
I don't mix here between the Eastern and Western culture, because the latter has given the woman her rights and even more than she deserves.
The thing is that in our Eastern culture, men think that they are superior than women and what ever they say should be done! No, women and men are equal, that is how God created us. It is true they should be respected and they are the head of the family but that doesn't mean to exploit this point to their well-being and start manipulating with their commands which some of are really ridiculous. such as don't wear this, wear that, don't dye your hair keep it natural, don't peirce your nose, don't joke, don't, don't, don't......Grrr they put themselves into where they don't belong sometimes..
You may think I am a psycho writing about this subject, but it is the reality in our culture and it gets on my nerve whenever I live these examples or witness.
16 comments:
Hi ya Marsh! You sure know how to open up a hot topic! Me, I looove the ladies, but when it comes down to gettin' things done, I believe ability is more important than gender. I could write pages and pages on this subject. Being old as dirt, I've seen a lot of changes in womens rights take place here in America, that are only begining in other parts of the world. It's a good thing. I have seen double standards at work in both genders, but it always comes down to the individual, male or female. Viva equality, but viva the differences too ; ) Sorry I haven't been around much, but I've been trying to concentrate on my own little piece of the world. Solo
Marshmallow,
I believe you wholeheartedly about the rights of women in East and the double standards.
In Iraq, everything is aib for girls, LOL. Do not go out alone, do not sit with visitors...
There is no masculine equivalent for adhra, LOL.
Marshmallow, do Iraqis still sacrifice a sheep for male babies, but say to the mother of a female baby: "Never mind, the important thing is your alright."
"May your offspring not be discounted until doomsday..." which emphasizes the importance of having male children.
And don't be giving those male babies the evil eye. LOL.
I read Sana Al-Khayyat's Honour & Shame: Women in Modern Iraq. If you can only read one book about the status of women in Iraq, it's that one.
And I just got The New Women in Uzbekistan: Islam, Modernity and Unveiling under Communism - so, i will see if in another Muslim-majority Eastern state, women are treated similarly as they are in Iraq.
It is always better to have too many freedoms than not enough.
I think you are alluding to abortion rights and such in the West for women. It is a complex matter. It is a form of infanticide, but then infanticide has been practiced since time immemorial among hundreds of cultures.
It is definitely tough for women in the East - Eastern and Russian (Ukrainian - Belarusian, etc)will treat their women like dirt.
That's why they're are so many women in the East seeking western husbands. If Islam wasn't so strictly enforced in the Middle East, it would be the same for Arab woman.
I was with you right up until:"...the latter has given the woman her rights and even more than she deserves..."
In many North American Native cultures, the elder women and men are looked upon as each holding the same wisdom of years. In others Women are the leaders of the Tribe. If you look at quite a few cultures of extreme poverty, the men leading it live quite well. These are not men, but self centred children, not worthy of being called men. If they were men, they would live to give to their people, instead of living off of them. Without a doubt, the West does have its' knuckle draggers, who would wish to marginalize women, to their own demise.
If you think women have been given to many freedoms in the West ''more than they deserve'', then your argument holds no water. For who are those who give women "her rights and even more than she deserves" men? As someone who has daughters, I am glad they live in the West and are free to seek their dreams, without a draconian ideology holding them back. If they wish to seek being the commander of a space shuttle, and are willing to seek that goal, it is open to them. They do not have to hide themselves, because men do not wish to be responsible for their own hearts. It would seem that in the West the writing of Paul is taken to heart:
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus."
When Jesus walked the Earth, there were those of religious persuasion who manipulated the words that God left to them, for their own benefit. But are not all religions like that, for their writing bring death, but there is one who brings life.
Hello Marshmellow. I am a student at the University of Vermont in the United States. I am doing a project for a class I am taking called "Gender in the Middle East", and this is how I came across your blog. I agree with some of your questions about the seemingly societal roles of males and suggestions they make. I want to tell you that as a woman in the United States, I ask similar questions such as why is it that women are constantly told to not walk home alone? Those comments to me suggest that we are more vulnerable and it really bothers me. I understand your many frustrations, the "don'ts" you've explained that you feel your culture is pressing. However, I have learned a lot in my class and it seems that universally women have made great progress and strides towards equality, or at least improvements, don't you agree?.
One topic we have been discussing has been how Western ideals are sometimes viewed as imposed on other cultures, and in particular, Western ideals of feminism. Do you feel in any way that feminism has perhaps been imposed on your culture? Additionally, I wanted to know what you meant by "I don't mix here between the Eastern and Western culture, because the latter has given the woman her rights and even more than she deserves". What are examples of this? It seems a bit like a counter argument, because as you mentioned, shouldn't all people be equal? If so , how is it that a woman can have more than she deserves? Don't all humans deserve the same amount of rights?
Marshmallow, I certainly hope you are talking about women and men in general and not that your new husband treats you as an inferior. I have a hard time understanding the Muslims treatment of women. Completely covering all but their eyes, never being with a man who is not a relative, arranged marriages. All those things boggle my mind. As a Christian, are you bound by any of those things because you live in a Muslim country?
Take it easy girl, you seemed very angry.
I support you 100 percent, but the problem is not with us, it is with the society that we live in.
I don't why men here, when they talk about freedom in the west, they took only the bad side of it, which is having a "DEEP" relationship after marriage.
While women, they took the good side of it, they talk about how to get a job, how to wear nice clothes, how to be strong and free in the way that we need not only that we want, we need to be free, but believe me no one will understand it the way we, women, do.
I thank Allah many time that I don't have a brother who order me to do this and not to do that..and also thank Allah to have a very understanding men in my life, my father and my future husband, they simply respect what women are..
Dear Marsho
Sorry,but, don't ask why.
Why, will be a waste of time.
You disagree with it, then change it.
You've got the right to say it loud, give your children the right to change it.
We keep moaning but with no change, at least, we should bring up our children with a different mentality.
Bests
are u serious
http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentID=2009020828735
Hi, Marsho. It reminds me of the idea I've discussed before in one of my posts.
You are right. Still there are families and couples in which men behave like dictators and women are just like accessories to their life.
To my mind, Marsho, everything depends on the society in which you live, religion, country, education, family, dignity...
However, nowadays, women are stronger, more independent and they enthusiastically fight for their rights, desires and preffered style of living.
This subject really makes me think how unfair life is, but i have stopped being angry, and now I have started to ignore whatever society says.
Society and Religion do have many rules which are there to protect us, but its unfair to follow culture and stop my life, and live a unhappy life because of it.
best wishes from baghdad
touta.
Marshmallow,
Hurry back. )))
Your comments are needed on such stories as the Octomom with the 14 kids and no husband; the woman with the pet monkey, Travis; and the 13-year-old boy father in England that looks like an 8-year-old.
Hello all,
Thank you for your comments and I am so sorry for not being able to comment at time because I was sick the whole week, I spent it in bed coughing and sneezing :(
Hello Mr. Ghost,
You are right these are the most shoking topics now days especially the 13 year old dad who exactlly looks like 8. I am shut towards such topics and can't find what to say...this is the end of the world.
Marsh,
This was the most frustrating part of dealing with my dad's (the Jordanian) side of the family!! My brother (who is younger) was referred to as a "man" by my old Aunties, even when we were only young teenagers. That baffled me!!! As far as premarital sex, Men are just as likely to get a girl pregnant, to catch a disease, etc. Abstinence before marriage was intended for all of God's children, just not his female children. Even in the US, promiscuity with Men is looked at as a "high five" opportunity. A woman with too many past partners is looked at like a slut. Ugh!!! The women couldn't get in trouble if there weren't MEN to get in trouble with, right?
Pika- Why would you ask about women walking home alone? My wife expects me to protect her & I love doing so. That's why men are concerned for women walking alone.....we love them.
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