Random thoughts keep bugging my memory and diffuse my concentration. Sometimes I see my self holding 100 subjects and posts in my brain but other times I forget what I want…It is so weird!!!
I know the fact that “Bloggin” is something to vent and express your ways and thoughts and come up with something new every time you write, but since my thoughts keep reoccurring in my posts like an echo and tells no story about life and experience except for: death, killing, boring, bombs, terror, surviving as if the terrorism becomes something we should bow for when it comes to talk about it…as if we will lose our taste of writing and visitors to the site if we don’t mention that we are the most Dog on poor nation on earth! And yet, we are!!
What will I gain if I still talk and blab about the Iraqi prime vampire and his entourage? Nothing but a pointless drivel!!
What difference will my articles make? Nothing!! Who cares if I say that I spent 30 consecutive hours at home begging God with my prayers to get the power back on?? Not much!
What is my goal in this shitty life after I lost so many opportunities of studying abroad? Bewail my bad luck and try the same shit again!
What am I doing trying to encourage those who lost hope and faith while I’m acting worse?? Mocking them!!
I need to work on my self, my attitude and temper…the problem is in me and once I figure it out and fix it, I will be able to step on my feet and face other’s troubles!!
The chaos and violence escalation affect my daily basis life big time, I can’t digest all that and keep going in this life…what have I done to live in the war and experience the difference between the sound of explosions whether its and IED or VBIED??? What? HUH??
What is my fault to have such a heart, a heart that melts and aches for its beloved folks, or for any bloody scene in reality or on TV?? Why should I care that much?
I need a break from my blog, until I feel that I am sub-serving others, until there will be something new, fun, real and exciting to write about I will get back with Iraqi Roses…
Until then…peace be with you all.
Marshmallow
10 comments:
Marsho
Please don't do so, please.
Look, we all feel unwell in a different way, we feel better when we talk, at least we say thing, we give a light that still there are good ones in Iraq.
You've just tried to support me few days ago.
Let me tell you one thing, I'm sure deep inside you don't feel like stopping, but it's the circumstances which surround you.
You're not the only one; many others are feeling so, I myself and despite all the blabing I do and all the complaining I leave in my blog, when I talk to my friend who lives back home; he keeps swearing and saying things just to release what inside him, I keep listening just because I know how I feel.
I was talking to another friend who lives here in the U.K, she thought that she was doing something wrong by complaining infront of me as I'm here alone and I shouldn't hear such things, on the contrary, I feel that I need to listen to such things, I need to feel that I'm still alive, and there is someone who knows that I'm living nearby and ready to say something to me.
Look, you've just published a post about what God says, have you forgotten that? just remember the story of prophit Yunis, will you give uo quickly?
I'm offering you something,; whenever you feel unwell, send me an e-mail, complain, swear, accuse and evacuate what inside you.
I'll be waiting for you
Regards
Dear Marsh, if you feel like taking a break then I encourage you to do so. Sometimes we need to do something else maybe in order for us to get back with new energy (maybe) and thoughts to do the same thing we love to do again. Regardless, though, I am against you stopping blogging forever. I appreciate every word you write on your blog, and you know that, my friend, it is very valuable these words you put.
Take a break but don't stop
Dear Marsh, there is a saying that to change the world, one must begin with ones self. There is nothing wrong with stepping away for awhile and getting in touch with your soul again. It's entirely understandable, and something we must all do at times. Friends will wait for your return. Luv ya dear. : )
Like the scientific monkey who gets a treat one in ten times of clicking the lever I am addicted to clicking on your link until I get a treat...so think of me and my poor dilapidating mouse while you are hibernating :D
Lets all listen to Sam Cooke
{{{{BIG HUG}}}
Marsh,
If you need a break, take one. I will miss reading your blog. I love all your posts, whether they are an antecdote, a rant or rave, or just what you are thinking about. It gives me a new perspective on things. You seem so honest and I love blogs that come from the heart and are not always about something. I will miss you and hope you change your mind!
Who cares if I say that I spent 30 consecutive hours at home begging God with my prayers to get the power back on??
I do. I'm sure a lot of people do. I know blogging is no replacement for real human interaction, but real human interaction is difficult in Iraq right now, is it not? Please don't shut yourself off from people, planning to fix yourself and then return! That's the worst thing you can do, I know because I've tried the same thing many times.
I think you know that sometimes the best way to help your own attitude and feelings is to reach out to other people and try to help them get through whatever it is they are dealing with. Other times, a little soul-searching and meditation is what is required to sort out your negative feelings, but please don't let yourself become isolated, whether you decide to continue blogging or not :)
Marsh,
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. When I was in Baghdad last year, I felt exactly the same, but the problem was I had to write stories as well for the newspaper I worked with.
Since I am in the writing program, I learned something really helpful to keep ideas unforgotten. It may sound primitive, but it helps you remember everything you want to say. I carry blank index cards and whenever I have an idea, I write it down on one of the cards and keep writing whenever another idea comes to my mind. When I sit down to write, I bring these index cards and read my ideas and develop them into bigger pieces. A few words from what you write on the card will trigger all what you want to say.
I hope that helps.
Please know that my heart and mind is always with you guys.
DO NOT GIVE UP MM!!! La dont, please. I know that all we write is about sadness and killings, but we are saying the truth, and the world has to know. The world needs YOU MM. The world needs us, all of us. Whether we agree with each other or not, we have to continue with our mission because THIS IS a mission. OUR mission. Please MM, yimkin you need a break, yimkin youre fed up, but dont give up ok??? Take your time, but come back to us...
Take care and I wanna hear something from you soon...
Dear Marshmellow,
Your articles make a difference, for people like me, who have no idea what it is to live in a war. But I can understand that just that is dragging you down and that you need a break from your blog. Maybe it is better to focus for some time at something else, which gives positive energy. I will keep checking your blog.
A dutch fan, Anna
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